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Someone once told me that balance was the answer to everything in this life.  I believe it…I really do.  Yet, if I had a chance to modify or strengthen that statement, I’d add a clause relating to the inevitable dichotomy of naivety vs. willingness.  As weird as it sounds, most of the decisions that we make are usually related to one of those two camps – especially when it comes to being in a relationship.  I’m not here to bash the notion of relationships, partnerships, marriages, etc.; I’m a firm proponent of those types of relationships and I believe that everyone should experience the opportunity to love someone.  With that said, that doesn’t mean that I won’t question the mechanics, mindsets, and approaches of the participants.  You see…sharing your life with someone is hard.  From what I can tell, I think it’s supposed to be.  It’s a team effort though, and if your teammate isn’t willing to do their part, the relationship suffers.  Maybe that’s why people choose to avoid giving their hearts altogether.  Maybe that’s why, at some point, we all fuck it up.  It’s this odd fascination that we have with being important to someone else on a deeper level that keeps us chasing the love rabbit. 

The thing that we all fail to realize is there are tons of unknowns.  The unknowns come with the territory and the quicker we are to admit we don’t have those answers, the better off we will all be.  Frankly, that’s too easy and realistically that’s not what our desired other wants to hear.  So what do we do?  We make promises of course.  Promises that appear to make us look like we’re in control, promises that we know everyone wants to hear – it’s called the quick win and we’re all about it.  A promise is a comfort for a fool.  No, I didn’t that say; it’s actually a proverb and it makes all of the sense in the world.  We spend our time romanticizing over the person that we’re with; we pardon their indiscretions because we’re willing to do so, or we’re too stupid to realize that we’re being fed a ton of shit.  In 2015, moving on is an option; people get divorced, relationships end more frequently, etc.  Although we’re allowed to move on – we can’t.  We can’t because the series of letdowns sprinkled with good times known as our last relationship reminds us of what could be.  I mean…are we so stupid to open ourselves up to another person?  After all, we’ve just been lied to, manipulated, and offered the best of us to the last person – are we sure this is the way to go?  Let’s ask the last person we gave ourselves to.  Ah shit, forgot…they used us up and are off doing their own thing now.  We try to be normal about shit, but we’re so unwilling to trust or open up because of how ruined and tainted we’ve become from our last stint. 

Hold that thought though, let’s talk about those unwilling-to-open types.  These are the people that are so consumed with the fear of getting their hearts broken; yet, they expect the ideal relationship when they decide to enter into one.  They stand proudly atop their pedestals commenting about habits, outlooks, and experiences that they’ve never had the guts to endure, let alone undertake.  All things considered, it’s a safe place to live; comment [disparage] potential dating incumbents and never take any risks yourself.  I get it.  I do feel bad for that next person though.  And what about that next person?  He/she is supposed to come right in and accept/empathize with us because we need it, right?  I’d love to agree, but that’s so unfair.  It’s a damn shame that we’re so caught up in our own needs/wants in a relationship because we completely miss the mark with the other person.  They come to us, arms agape, looking to make a genuine difference in our lives.  In return we greet them with our insecurities and we grade them on a harsh and more rigid scale than we’ve ever used before.  They complain.  They’re upset because when you mess up, it’s ok – but when they fuck up, it’s simply intolerable. 

Time passes and neither camp budges.  We know that they are here vying for an opportunity with us; they know that they are here because they have a loving interest in changing our lives.  That gray space becomes a swirling torrent of confusion and often leads to arguments, so we label it as taboo.  We can do this because we have the upper hand in the matter (we’re the hurt ones, remember)?  The pattern is cyclical; we mess up – we write it off; they mess up – all out border skirmish – and life…unconventionally…goes on.  Every now and again, we become introspective and ask ourselves why they still stay.  Are they naïve?  Are they really that willing?  Sometimes we’re thankful to be in that position.  Essentially, we got the chance to live our own lives the way we wanted to prior to meeting them, but now that things are less than ideal, we have someone to lean on…and we like that – a lot.  What we don’t see is how much of their life the other person is willing to give up.  We don’t see the extent of their patience, nor their commitment to us.  Maybe that’s not true.  It’s more difficult to see all of the aforementioned, therefore making it undesirable to do so.  Instead, we focus on the flaws.  After all, we will most likely end up fighting – we’ll need as much as ammo as we can get. 

I don’t know man.  Maybe its happenstance or maybe it’s just me.  These emotions I just ran through are just loose speak.  Reading, thinking, and writing about it does make me think though.  All we want is to be loved and appreciated, but sometimes it might help if we walk the path in the other person’s shoes.  I feel bad.  I feel bad because I haven’t always put my best foot forward; I’ve made decisions that have flat out complicated my life – but I own them.  I do that because it’s supposed to make me more of a wholesome and credible person.  Most importantly, I do it because I expect whoever I deal with to be the same.  Damn, don’t you guys just want shit to be normal?  I do; more than anything, that’s what I want.  Until then, let’s just get cozy here in the on-deck circle; we’ll soon get our at-bat.